Another Modern Family spec script.

I know I was supposed to publish my second Modern Family spec at some point. So here it is:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/179356159/Modern-Family-House-of-Cards-Fix-pdf

The characters on the show have always been a bit two-dimensional so I tried my best to make them a bit more believable in this script. Whether I succeeded is of course another story.

When it comes to the script, the Mitchell & Cam storyline is pretty straightforward. So is the one with Jay & Phil going to the charity auction. The Haley & Alex storyline, however, was a lot trickier to write.

Story A: Mitchell's big day in court. Since we hadn't seen Mitchell doing any lawyering before, I thought it was about time. So I gave him a big case, and made him afraid of the whole thing. Closing arguments, huh..

I guess this one was somewhat tricky too, because I couldn't discuss the specifics of the case. I also brought Cameron with him, which I thought wasn't necessarily that plausible, but since Mitchell's car didn't start, maybe it was okay that I kept them together.

I think the storyline is about emotions and not about the actual case or the details. That's why when Mitchell gives his speech, we can't really get to hear what he's actually saying. We simply don't know enough about the case so music and gestures it is.  

Story B: Jay & Phil go to a charity. I can't remember where I got this idea from, but since Jay is so rich, I thought it would be fun if he'd do something with that money.. and be a bit childlike. Maybe he was really missing that one card when he was a kid. Besides it's a charity (to soften the motivation).

I thought it would be best if I'd let Phil join with Jay. The trick is that Claire calls Jay and asks him to look after her husband, because Phil wants to go too and we know Phil. Once they get together and no women are around, Jay tells Phil what's going on. (to get the story straight)

When they get to the auctioning event, there are two 'wants' going on. Jay wants that card and the audience probably wants to see Phil make bids. So I achieved this by creating an obstacle when a business acquaintance of Jay's shows up. For business reasons Jay told that person he's almost broke..

So, we have an obstacle, which is a good thing. Next we get an observation from Phil, who says that he can do the bidding for Jay. He sees the opportunity too, so Phil does the bidding. Therefore Jay gets what he wants and so does the audience. Obstacle, observation, opportunity.

Story C: is the most difficult one to write. It starts on page six and ends on page twenty. So it's the last that gets going and the first that finishes (if the tag doesn't count). It's basically about Haley being a bit depressed and wanting to spend time with her sister.

Haley joins Alex who's acting like a good girl once again. She is doing her 'pick one piece of litter a day' stuff. Haley is sad and says that nothing goes her way in life. Everyone is against her, the whole world. So Alex suggests that Haley could make the world a bit better place, one piece of litter at a time.

The really tricky part here is that there's not that much time for Haley to feel somewhat happier about herself and to believe in what Alex is doing. It wasn't easy to write stuff that culminated in Alex going against her good girl image and fake smoking a cigarrette on purpose.

Anyway, Claire sees this and there's the confrontation based on a misunderstanding. At least the idea is pretty funny. Claire thinking that they smoke and Haley reinforcing the belief and saying that, ahem, 'what they do' is awesome.

This is the first draft, not polished and not really spell-checked, but I guess I can do those things later.

Angus and Charlie said it like it is.

I had decided that I wouldn't write anything about Angus T. Jones calling Two and A Half Men 'filth' and saying that we shouldn't watch it. 

Unfortunately, I then happened to read Ken Levine's completely one-sided post about the issue and decided that I need to weigh in because the whole thing makes me feel pretty mad.

Now, I'm not saying that I don't find some of the comments that Angus has made about his beliefs and religion a bit troubling, because, I think everyone perhaps should.  

Also, I'm not saying that in a somewhat normal situation I wouldn't find him to be a somewhat ungrateful person for making millions from a show and then openly trashing it. 

But we're talking about Two and A Half Men here, the ultimate flagship of lazy, unambitious, crappy writing, a show that doesn't represent any values,  a show that doesn't even pretend that it's trying to make the world a better place.

It's run by Chuck Lorre, the guy who wrote in a  public vanity card (when Charlie Sheen was in rehab) 'jokingly' that he hopes that Sheen dies before he does.

Even only based on that, I think it's more than understandable if the stars of the show at some point simply aren't able to take it anymore. (Sheen called it eight years of emotional oppression)

But what really troubles me is how the media plays this thing. According to them, anyone who walks away from 'easy' money.. ..well, that person can't be trusted.

I mean, why did Sheen walk away from a show that made him millions? Why? He must be crazy.

Now it's the same situation with Angus. He's made millions from the show. Why would he do this? He must be.. (pick your word).

The only person from the original cast who hasn't had enough is Jon Cryer. He plays Alan who is basically a man-whore on the show.

For some reason the media thinks that he is the good guy here. They think that it takes a lot of courage to take the money and not say a damn thing about the lack of morals and the lack of quality on the show.

That's not how it's supposed to go. Right?

A sitcom book that doesn't suck.

Well, I finally decided to write about a book that isn't completely useless when it comes to writing spec scripts. In fact, I would go as far as to say that 'Elephant Bucks' - by Sheldon Bull - is the best how-to sitcom book out there.

There are numerous reasons why the book is better than the rest out there and one of the most important reasons is that the book actually makes sense. By that I mean that after you read it, the chances are that you might start writing and stop procrastinating. At least that's what happened to me.

So, the book has a great section about structure. It gives you seven plot elements that you should think about when you're trying to come up with a story/storyline. (depending on your character, active or passive, these are first goal/problem, obstacle, first action, act break, second problem/goal, second action and resolution).

The reason that this section is so good and helpful is that it concentrates on characters and what motivates them. Nothing is more important than your characters wanting or needing to solve something. If your characters don't have a goal or a problem, they're stuck in a room doing nothing like Penny, Amy & Bernadette on the Big Bang Theory.

Perhaps the most important thing that I learned about structure is the 'first action', which Sheldon calls 'an unwise decision'. This decision is important, because when your character does something, ahem, unwise, that action can develope into an actual storyline - not just into a series of pointless 'and then' scenes that South Park's Trey Parker has talked about.

It is of course up to you to come up with those ideas, but 'unwise decision' is a much easier term to understand than the usual 'inciting incident'. I still haven't figured out what that really means. I don't think there's any reason to make structure intentionally difficult to understand and Sheldon, unlike others, makes it pretty easy for the reader (he really does).

The way Sheldon's book differs from all those others, is that in 'Elephant Bucks', he actually writes an episode with us (Frasier). This is such a simple idea and it works beautifully because we get to read how Sheldon plans his episode and what his thought processes throughout the script are. He goes step by step through those seven plot elements, and voila, in the end it turns out we have come up with pretty good storylines and a script.

Other than that, there's stuff like editing your script and how to rewrite dialogue among other things that are really valuable. Brevity in scriptwriting is usually a virtue, so it doesn't hurt that Sheldon chimes in on that.

I also have to say that there's another big gem in the book besides that 'unwise decision' and that is Sheldon's advice that you should write your script as a drama first. After all, jokes are easy, storytelling isn't.

That's my advice to you too, because if you find a way to tell a dramatic story without threatening the status quo (character relations), you're almost bound to write better scripts than even the showrunners on their shows. If you understand drama and characters, you really don't need to understand much else.

Besides teaching us how to write a script, the book also has a second part which is about landing your job as writer. There's a lot of stuff about being a writer on a show, about agents, how to deal with network executives, what it feels like when you get rewritten and other useful things about how you should prepare yourself when you get your lucky break.

All in all, Elephant Bucks is one the very few books out there that actually makes sense and doesn't confuse you. What more as a writer can you ask for? 

Similarities between poker and writing.

Above is a picture of Phil Hellmuth, a rather famous poker player who a month or so ago won his 13th World Series of Poker bracelet. (He has won more than any other person.) 

Now, the reason that I write about this is that poker and writing aren't that different in the end. Both are about understanding structure and about understanding players (characters). If you're not good at reading others or if you don't understand structure, you can't be a good poker player and you can't write good scripts.

Structure is really important for you to understand. It's your blueprint that you build on. It's the most important thing when it comes to planning. It allows you to use the rational part of your brain. It's also something that can be somewhat learned.

For example, in poker structure dictates what you can do. There are strategies that need to be known, like the unexploitable way to play when you have a short stack. Understanding structure gives you ideas and there's pretty much a right and a wrong way to handle certain situations.

When it comes to structure in writing, you have to know a lot of stuff. Like how to use exposition, how to introduce new characters, where the act breaks are, how long the script can go and so on and so on. It's basic and quite simple but not necessarily that easy to master. Structure is crucial to know and there's usually a right and a wrong.

But what is more important in my opinion is one's ability to read. Your ability to read characters and players. Your ability to know where you and others are so that you can react to the situations in hand.

I think this is an ability that you don't hear about enough when it comes to writing. In poker, you hear about it all the time. The best player is the one who makes the best reads. So, why aren't the writers talking about the ability to read characters that much? It might be that the best character reader is also the best writer too.

Phil Hellmuth especially prides himself on his ability to soul read players. This allows him to live in the moment and lets him make decisions based on his instincts. He usually has a pretty good idea on when to call, when to raise, when to fold and when to shove it all-in. This talent allows him to win tournaments quite often.

This reading ability, I believe, is mostly a gift. Some people have it, most unfortunately don't. Without it, you're pretty much lost. Therefore it's more important to be a great reader, because structure is something that you can learn but reading ability is something that you can't.

When it comes to writing, if you know the characters, you can safely concentrate on your plots. After all, character is the plot. So, the better you are at reading characters, the better your storylines, the better your script and the better your ability to write eventually will be.

It's that simple and I guess that's the reason why it's so hard.

Comedy should be taken seriously.

How many times have you heard the words: "Stop whining. Let's just relax and enjoy the show"? I don't know about you, but I've heard those words too many times. Way too many times.

"Lighten up, don't be so serious, this stuff is hilarious". If only it could work that way. If only it could...

"But but but, it's better than 90% what's on tv..." No, no, no.

There are too many shows currently on tv that aren't funny. Critics might recommend these shows and posters on message boards might be extatic over these, and yet the simple truth is that these shows are so bad that I can't relax and enjoy them.

No matter how many people might say otherwise..

For example, a show like 'New Girl' might be popular, but it's not funny because it's so implausible. It seems that no one paid attention - was serious enough - about the premise, characters and the storylines when they came up with the show.

Who thought that a weirdo girl living with three dudes in a high-end apartment would be plausible as a premise? Who thought that these shallow, empty characters would be relatable? Who thought that their non-existent problems would be interesting to the audience?

Probably no-one said, 'let's be serious for a moment'. I wonder what the executives were thinking. Did they think that people like me would like it? I hope they didn't say "this is going to be great".

The problem is that if you don't take comedy seriously, you can't help but to fail. There's no way you're going to create anything meaningful just by doing something half-baked and expecting it to work like magic.

It can only work if there's some serious thinking involved in the process. Even then it might not work, but at least there's a chance. Then I might enjoy it and relax.

When I take a look at a show like New Girl, I can only compare it to Ally Mcbeal. Because New Girl tries to be quirky like Ally, but it doesn't work at all because there's nothing whatsoever to build on. 

Ally Mcbeal worked because it was a serious and even a sad show at its core. It dealt with honest emotions. Even though the show sometimes was pretty absurd, it worked because David Kelley took his job seriously and treated his characters with honor and dignity.

New Girl, however, doesn't. I can't enjoy it, because too many people simply didn't do their jobs.

Nate Corddry on the cancellation of Harry's Law.

For some reason I managed to find this video of Nate Corddry ranting about the state of television.

I thought it'd be best if I'd share this here too. He's really mad that Harry's Law got cancelled, even though the show got really solid ratings.

Honestly. it's pretty much impossible not to agree with Nate here. Harry's Law was a show that respected your intelligence.

It wasn't David Kelley's best tv series, but every week it had something important to say about us and our society.

Here's for example one closing argument from Tommy Jefferson.
 

I think Star Trek The Next Generation's showrunner Michael Piller said it best: "If we only think of ratings and money, we lose everything that we are".

A great Modern Family episode.

So, two episodes of Modern Family aired last evening. The first one, 'Schooled', was very good. The second one, 'Snip', unfortunately wasn't good at all. I'll write about the first one.

There was one thing that didn't work in the first episode, and that was right away when Luke commented how U.S spends China's money. Maybe someone wanted to make a small statement here but nevertheless there's no way that his character would be smart enough to know that. So that was just wrong.. ..even though he was right.

Once we got through the main titles, the episode became funny. Or should I say that it got pretty damn clever. There were lots of great lines throughout the episode, like Cam talking about clowns wearing make-up and stuff. Cam & Mitchell doing those male & female signs was also hilarious. It was absurd, but that's okay, because life's what it is. (too difficult to understand)

The reason that this particular episode worked so well is that all three storylines were more or less about our three couples working together and not arguing with each other for a change. Cam & Mitchell were pitted against the lesbian couple, Claire & Phil pulled it together when it came to Haley going to college and Jay & Gloria were having good time at that baby class.

There have been way too many episodes in which the couples argue with each other with no good reason (manufactured conflicts and drama). That they managed to go against those, I think, learned expectations was so refreshing and made the episode so much better. It made me feel that good things might still happen to Modern Family.

Another reason that the episode was so impressive is that all those storylines were easy to follow. There weren't too many characters in each scene that would confuse everyone from actors to director like the show unfortunately too many times has done. In that sense this episode was simple and let's face it, simple is always good. Simple works.

I guess there was this other thing that was a bit implausible and that was Phil's philosophy book. I mean, does someone actually believe that he would have a book written about his Philisms? I don't think so, but thankfully most of those lines or Philisms were clever and funny. Like the one about william hurt.

Other than that, the other episode got it all wrong, but this first one kinda, almost, disturbed me. Because, I want to be honest here, 'Schooled' had so many good things going on for it, that for a minute, I had to consider the idea that maybe these writers are better than I am.

I mean, the truth is that the minute (okay, make that two) I find that somebody has more raw writing talent than I have, I'll probably quit trying.