How to deal with your shyness as a writer?

One of the things that most of the talented writers don't want to talk about that much is how vulnerable and how shy they are. It's not fun to talk about how fragile you are as a person and that you're not always in charge of yourself.

In reality, no matter how fearless your favorite writer might be, there's a pretty good chance that they're actually really shy. Being shy and sensitive is what gives them the edge over the rest of us mortal writers. 

In any case, here are five important things that you should keep in mind if you happen to be shy as a person. These are the things that at least in my opinion will help you and will make your life at least a little bit better:

1) Try to appreciate your strengths.

Even though it's understandable that you're sometimes going to stress about your shyness, worrying about it too much isn't good or healthy either. You shouldn't think too much about the 'restrictions' that come with being a sensitive person.

Instead, try to pay more attention to your strengths than to your weaknesses. Try pay attention to the fact that you're someone who understands how the world works and who knows what makes us human beings tick.

Try to find comfort in the fact that you're better at observing things than the average person and that you're able to figure out many of those precious little things that matter. These are the qualities that should define you as a person and as a writer.

2) Keep yourself busy as a writer.

Very likely the best thing that you can ever do as a writer is to keep yourself immersed in what you're doing. When you have ongoing projects or steady writing routines, you might forget that you have your 'limititations'.

As long as you'll keep yourself busy with your writing habits and routines, pretty quickly you'll manage to notice certain changes. These new routines will make you more confident and will make you feel better about yourself as a writer.

Speaking from my own experience, it genuinely helps when you write articles on a blog on a weekly basis. When you manage to press the publish button more than two hundred times, it's bound to make you at least a little bit less shy.

3) Have a support group that lets you write.

It's always a good thing if you have the chance and the time to concentrate on writing and that you don't have to worry too much about other things. It's an ideal situation if you don't have to do things that you're not good at.

The very best television writers use almost all of their energy and concentration on writing scripts. Their only job is to write quality material because they have an advantage over the rest of the field out there.

For example, South Park's Trey Parker is known for being a very shy person. He's not known for being good at arguing with the suits or with handling confrontations, so he leaves those aspects of the show business for others (Matt Stone) to handle.

4) Take care of yourself and your health.

Many of the shy and sensitive people in show business abuse drugs and don't take enough care of themselves. They have problems but don't try to fix their issues the right way and instead end up trying some bad things.

If you need help with your problems, it's better to get professional help instead of using illegal drugs to alleviate your symptoms. It's much better to be in therapy and take SSRI:s than it's to treat problems with alcohol, coke, or marijuana.

In my case, I try to do moderate to heavy one hour exercises at least five times a week. I also try to eat relatively healthy stuff, I try to sleep well and I take a small dose of an antidepressant to keep my mind as balanced as it can be.

5) Don't give up too easily. 

Finally, setbacks and failures are especially difficult and painful for shy people to handle. It's not fun when things don't go your way, even though you tried your best and actually managed to take (yikes) chances.

Yet, as far as I'm concerned, you shouldn't give up too easily as a writer. You should keep going, because there's really not that much quality stuff out there and because most people in the show business simply don't have what it takes to entertain us.

So instead of getting too depressed about what happened, try to keep in mind that you can try your luck in the future too. It's not over and there's a good chance that next time things are going to get better for you.

You really should be 'making sacrifices' as a writer.

I don't know about you, but at least in my opinion most of the stuff that we see on television isn't really good at all. Most of the so called 'entertainment' that airs on tv deeply disrespects our intelligence as human beings. 

One of the biggest reasons for the lack of quality stuff on television is that writers in Hollywood simply don't try hard enough. They don't really think it's their job to give their all and to push themselves to the edge. 

One of the best - or worst - examples of this kind of behavior comes from a successful writer named Danny Zuker. This person happens to be one of the executive producers and writers on ABC's popular sitcom 'Modern Family'.

As unfortunate as it is, based on his tweet sent on August 1st, he doesn't seem to believe that writers need to try their hardest. He thinks that it's okay to write these half-assed scripts and that you can still be proud of yourself.

As can be seen in the picture above, Zuker attempts to make his joke by saying that just like Trump, he's going to make his 'sacrifice' (wink) too. He's going to faux sacrifice himself by writing a sitcom script that day. 

The problem with this attempt at comedy is that his tweet is a total failure. It's genuinely bad not only because it assumes certainties about Trump, but also because it's completely wrong about how 'easy' it is to write well.

Unlike what Zuker's saying here, writing good stuff really is about making sacrifices in your life. It's genuinely about pushing yourself to the limit and giving your everything when you're trying to write quality material.

Absolutely no one in this world writes good stuff unless they'll take their tasks super seriously. Even the best writers like Trey Parker, David Kelley and Aaron Sorkin need to bring their very best if they want to write something worthwhile.

Yet, for some reason Zuker thinks that writing a script is really 'no biggie' at all. He thinks that you can casually joke about it being a faux sacrifice (haa haa) and think that you're still going to end up smelling like roses.

In the end, this was simply a genuinely horrible tweet from him. There's no way I would have dared to run my mouth like that, especially considering how Modern Family's quality has plummeted over the years.

At least when it comes to me, there's absolutely nothing funny about making jokes about other people's 'sacrifices', especially when you consider that Zuker's own dereliction of duty as a writer couldn't be more obvious.

The importance of having patience as a writer.

Over the years I've learned that one of the most important qualities of being a writer is that you need to have a lot of patience. Whenever you're writing, you can't give up too easily, even though things might not immediately go your way. 

In order to show you why patience is so important, let's look at these examples about the writing process. Whenever you're trying to come up with good stuff, you should consider these important things that are required.

1) You need patience to come up with an idea that is good enough.

It's always a pretty good feeling when you have been lucky enough to come up with a decent idea as a writer. Solid ideas and premises have the most amount of potential to turn into quality scripts, storylines or articles. 

At the same time, there are moments when you don't feel comfortable enough with your idea. Your intuition, gut or whatever tells you that you should think of something else to go with, even though you might be about to start writing. 

In these cases, most of the time it's probably a good idea to step back and think a bit. Even though you might feel impatient and think that coming up with another idea won't be easy, you should likely put your thinking cap on again.  

2) You need patience to spend enough time to get the story right.

Now that you came up with an idea that you think is good enough, you need to get your basics right. This means that you delve into the structure of your story and try to make sure that you are going to write something worthwhile.

This is likely the hardest part of the process and you'll usually spend hours after hours trying to come up with solid ideas. It's crucial that you'll come up with good ideas that make sense and that you know what you're writing about.

At least in my case, I will almost certainly get super frustrated because most of the time I don't get things to work right away. I have to struggle a lot before it feels like I have solved most of the problems with my story / task.

3) You need patience to rewrite over and over again.

Once you have gotten your structure right, you have likely solved at least 80% of your problems. This is the moment that usually gives you the first real sense of having accomplished something and that you're going to make it.

Nevertheless, just because you're not staring at a blank screen anymore, you still need to rewrite and in many cases create new content. This leads to you to adding and removing stuff in the hopes that your script would finally make enough sense as a whole. 

This takes time and effort and you might still notice some fairly obvious problems that need to be fixed. These are problems that you know you can fix as long as you're willing to work hard enough and won't give up.

4) You need patience to not publish what you've written too soon. 

Having now fixed 95% to 99% of the stuff, it's time to take a break from your thoughts. You should always let your brain relax a bit and wait at least a day before you publish or let others see what you've written.

Taking this break will almost certainly help you find certain - likely relatively small - mistakes that need to be fixed and that you hadn't noticed before. These are the last things that you need to take care of before your task is finished.

No matter how difficult taking a break might seem to you, you need to get your thoughts off from writing and do something else for a while. It will almost certainly be the right decision and will make you a better writer in the long run.
  
5) You also need patience when you're not rewarded immediately.

Finally, once you have managed to complete your precious task, you should be happy that you managed to get the job done. It wasn't easy and you spent so much time trying to give your best and making your story as good as possible.

However, don't get too upset if people don't immediately pat you on the back for your efforts. No matter how smart, talented or insightful you are as a writer, in most cases the world still doesn't revolve around you.

Instead, appreciate the fact that you had the chance to go through the process and that you managed to reach the finish line. At least in my opinion, that's what really counts and what should make us happy as writers.

Recommended: 'Save The Cat Goes to The Movies'.

Lately I've been reading some of the screenwriting books that I've managed to gather over the years. I have tried to find out which books in my library are the ones that I would recommend the most for others to read.

In total, I think I have like fifteen to twenty books that are primarily about screenwriting and how movies are supposed to be written. Over the years I have managed to buy almost all the 'important' books that are out there.

Yet, at least in my opinion the best screenwriting book out there is very likely Blake Snyder's 'Save The Cat Goes to The Movies'. This book is very good when it comes to understanding how storytelling structure works.

One of the reasons that Snyder's 'Save The Cat' is so good is that it intentionally keeps things as simple as possible. Unlike most screenwriting books out there, it doesn't make writing look like it's rocket science.

Instead, 'Save The Cat' manages to pay attention to structural plot points that are clear but not too strict or too restrictive. It concentrates on plot points and story beats that can be found from almost every quality screenplay.

These story beats are:

1. Opening Image
2. Theme Stated
3. Set-up
4. Catalyst
5. Debate
6. Break into Two
7. B story
8. Fun and Games
9. Midpoint
10. Bad Guys Close In
11. All is Lost
12. Dark Night of the Soul
13. Break into Three
14. Finale
15. Final Image

Using these plot points, the book breaks down the structure of 50 different movies from 10 different genres. It explains the structure behind movies like Alien, Die Hard, Forrest Gump, Spider-man 2 and Napoleon Dynamite among other films.

In my opinion, these film examples are entertaining, super easy to read and don't require that much time or effort. You get tons of insight just by picking one example from the book and studying the film's story structure.

At least in my case, it has made thinking about movies easier without making it too dull or too academic. It gives you the keys to appreciate good movies and also makes it easier to notice problems with films that don't work.

I mean, I can only speak for myself, but had I not read the book, I for example wouldn't have noticed many of the problems and flaws with Pixar's 'Inside Out'' that had to do with its almost non-existing inciting incident.

That same way, reading this book also gave me the opportunity to appreciate the many good things about 'The Big Short'. Without 'Save The Cat', I wouldn't be as aware of the movie's many strengths in its award winning screenplay.

In any case, when it comes to this book as a whole, I believe that Blake Snyder's 'Save The Cat Goes to The Movies' is a must purchase for pretty much anyone who's interested in screenwriting or storytelling in general. 

As far as I'm concerned, you need to have this screenwriting guide in your library, because not only is the book well written, insightful and full of substance - but it's also a book that keeps you entertained throughout its content.

You don't really need to practice joke writing.

It was a couple of days ago when Ken Levine, an award winning writer wrote on his blog and asked his readers to write punchlines. He wanted his readers to complete his sentence (in link) and make it as funny as possible.

As it turned out, a lot of his loyal readers were more than willing to help and gave a lot of different suggestions. I think there were more than a hundred and fifty entries that were sent by his blog's regular followers.

Yet, the problem with this comedy improv exercise was that it just wasn't good at all. Not only were all the 150+ suggestions pretty lame, it's hard to believe that anyone learned about comedy writing from the exercise.

When it comes to this 'comedy improv' exercise not being useful, it's mostly because its premise was so bad. I honestly can't see what exactly is inspiring or motivating about writing 'funny' material based on your girlfriend seeing other men.

At least in my opinion, comedy writing is supposed to be about things that could make us feel good about our lives. It should be about lifting our spirits and giving us hope that tomorrow things are going to be okay.

In my opinion, comedy is not supposed to be about being mean or trying to come up with stuff that might hurt us. Comedy writing almost never is supposed to be about things that could make us feel worse about our lives.

Besides, what's really the point with coming up with these kinds of 'jokes' anyway? At least in my view, comedy in most cases really isn't that much about writing clever punchlines or writing 'funny' stuff like that.

Instead, good comedy writing should be about the story and storytelling. It should be about paying attention to the big picture, being able to see the forest for the trees and not getting too bogged down in the minutiae.

Aleast in my opinion, practicing writing 'jokes' like these in most cases is just a waste of time. I have no idea why someone with writing talent would try to come up with those punchlines or take part in comedy improv workshops like these.

As far as I'm concerned, most of the time we shouldn't worry too much about getting our jokes right. In most cases, we should worry about the story, because that's where almost all the bigger problems are going to be.

The need to show how good you are as a writer.

A couple of days ago I decided that since I didn't have anything better to do, I could perhaps check what kind of writing competitions there were out there. I thought that it wouldn't hurt to see whether some new competitions had popped up lately.

The reason I was somewhat curious about competitions was because I had a script that I had thought about submitting. In my opinion, one of my Modern Family scripts was just too good not to be evaluated by professional reviewers.

So as I kept searching for contests, it didn't take more than a couple of minutes, before I noticed that 'Final Draft' had a new competition. Their writing contest also had a category for my Modern Family script too.

To make things even more interesting for me, this was a competition that was still open for submissions. If I was willing to pay a late entry fee, I would be able to take part as long as I would submit before July 15th this year.

So knowing that there was still time to enter, I couldn't really resist the temptation and decided to give the competition a shot. I thought that pretty much anything could happen and that I wouldn't really have that much to lose anyway.

After all, the worst thing that could happen is that I wouldn't get back the money that I would spend to enter the competition. That wouldn't really be the end of the world and wouldn't get me too depressed either.

In any case, when it comes to the script that I submitted, I do have to confess that the spec isn't actually 'new'. That is because this Modern Family script was written almost three years ago when I still had the motivation to write for television.

The reason that I wanted to send it now is that last time I rushed it to a competition and I wasn't prepared. Even though the script did place in the contest, I hadn't made sure that there wouldn't be any problems with it.

This time however, I'm fairly confident that the script is potentially good enough to win the competition. In my opinion, this script shows me at my very best as a writer and shows what I'm capable of when I bring my A-game.

In any case, I'm going to keep you updated when it comes to the competition. There should be some news about the spec's progress in a couple of months, since 'Final Draft's' first qualifying round is going to be in September.

All in all, I'm definitely feeling optimistic about my chances in the competition. Perhaps this could finally be the moment when I'll have my lucky break, even though I've learned to expect the worst when it comes to contests like these.

Compassion as a source of entertainment.

In my opinion, a lot of writers seem to think that in order to be entertaining as a writer, you need to try to appear as cool as possible. They think that you need to be edgy and that showing awareness and empathy towards others isn't really that needed.

Personally speaking, I have never understood this approach at all. In my opinion by far the most important thing about being a good writer is that you show compassion to your characters so that your audience might care.

In any case, in order to hopefully give an example on how to write stuff that is both full of compassion and entertainment, let's take a look at an episode of one of my favorite television shows that was created by my favorite writer, David E. Kelley. 

In this case, we're talking about 'The Practice', a legal drama that managed to win multiple Emmy awards - including the best drama series - during its eight year run. This show was not only known for its entertainment values but also for its compassion.

Very likely my favorite 'entertainment through compassion' moment of all time happened during the show's final season, when the series gave us a new lead character, a sleazy, yet a good hearted lawyer, named Alan Shore. 

As his first case as a defense lawyer on the show - played wonderfully by the great James Spader - Alan Shore had to take a poor client who was suspected for committing a sexual assault on a female business executive.

At face value, this storyline didn't seem like one where 'entertainment' or 'compassion' would be the first thing in your mind. It's hard to imagine that you would feel for a person who had committed a crime against a woman.

Yet, it didn't take that long in the episode before you started to get second thoughts about the case and started to feel for the suspect in question. Things definitely weren't like one might have expected at first here.

That is that, the poor suspect's crime in this case hadn't been that bad. His illegal act was that he had publicly kissed the female executive on the office floor of the company as an act of  revenge and to get even with her.

That is because shortly before the sexual assault, the female in question had berated the suspect outside the office building for being a dirty, smelly worker. She had no compassion whatsoever for this man, who also happened to be a homeless person.

To make the situation even more humiliating for the man, his ten year old daughter had just happened to be close by when the berating happened. This man had been extremely humiliated and for no 'real' reason at all.

So when the story progressed, even though you wouldn't had thought at first, you couldn't help but to root for the blue collar guy. You couldn't help but to feel empathy for this homeless worker who was now in trouble.

After all, when you think about it, the worst that happened to this upper class female was that her 'embarrassment' would last only a couple of days or a week. Her co-workers wouldn't think about the incident that much and would forget it soon.

On the other hand, the humiliation that our homeless blue collar worker went through in front of his ten 10 year old daughter might even last a lifetime. It might well be that his daughter would never be able to forget what had happened.

This emotional aspect of the case was pretty much what Alan Shore's character emphasized when he gave his passionate closing argument to the court. The jury had to feel that sentencing the man for that crime would have simply been wrong.

Fortunately, at the end of the episode, the jury did manage to find our unlikely protagonist not guilty of the crime that he was accused of. He was let go and you were finally able to breath in relief that there was still some justice left in this world.

In any case, after the episode ended, all I could think was that the whole storyline in this episode (S8x01) about the underdog was simply fantastic. It showed what you can do as a writer when you have the talent and the courage to show kindness and be real.

It's just too bad that there aren't enough talented writers like David Kelley out there who can pull off stuff like this. Most of the so called 'professionals' couldn't write compassionate stuff like this even in their wildest dreams.

In my opinion that's a shame, because we as human beings clearly deserve to experience compassionate moments like these. These are the moments that make at least myself think that we aren't perhaps that bad.

In that sense, I just wish that we would have more good television shows like 'The Practice' on tv that took our struggles seriously and paid attention to issues that people in the audience found to be important and real.

That same way, I just wish that we had more writers like David Kelley, who understood what it means to be a human being and who understood that you don't always have to be hip or cool in order to be entertaining.